I love you bie :)

Love, 
When you're walked into my life, I doubted you.
Then you gave me reasons on why I shouldn't have doubted you at the first place.
Love, 
Maybe I can't make you as happy as others do but I promise to try.
Walk with me and make sure there's no distance between us.
Love,
Your smile is like the morning sunshine but when you close your eyes, it makes my world dark.
Mark the boundary and keep the heart in between for I can only walk under your shadow.
Love,
My soul is touched by the fragrance of your body,
You make it harder for me to breathe everything you take a step closer to me.
Love, 
When I am in your thought, even loneliness seems so beautiful.
When the night comes, I wish to be in your arms.
Love, 
You're the reason why I've fallen all over love again.
Call me a fool but I am only a fool for love. 

I love you baby. =)

Come home!

Hello my love, i hope you're listening. Forgive me if I've said something wrong and speaking out of my tongue.

Lately I've been missing someone and I think he could be the better half of me.

That someone is YOU!

So come home, cause I've been waiting for you so long. All I see is you and me, so come home.

And everything I can't be is everything you should be..

That's why I need you by my side..

All along i believe that I would find you and finally I've found you.

I love you more than you can ever imagine.

You're the dream within my dream..

Take one step closer to me and I swear I will be there when you fall.

Baby, come home.

Walk.. and never turning back.

It's been more than a year, we've came so far. Things hasn't change, not even one bit. We fought and then came running back to each other. Not because we loved each other but only because we missed or felt lonely. That's exactly what we're doing, we're just feeling up each others void. I waited hoping for miracle, knowing miracle won't take it's place. Hopes were decreasing.. Faith was being questioned.. Feelings were fading. But I thought they say true love never fades? Does that mean what I have towards you isn't true? Well, I can bet you a million bucks it's so true you just can't handle it. No, I am not expecting anything in return. No, I am not saying you're not appreciating my love that I have for you but I think someone out there deserves my love other than you. You gave me too many reasons, you pointed out at my flaws not knowing that you had yours. You made me feel like I wasn't good enough. 

You know I love you so much, I would sacrifice ANYTHING just to see you smile. But I don't think it's worth it anymore. I told myself I would only leave when I see you succeed and I am sticking to it. Yes, no matter what I will be by your side waiting to see you being successful as a friend but no longer as the girl who once loved you.

You're the nicest guy I've ever came across but you're not the one for me.

I will never forget what you taught me, what you made me feel or anything that has to do with you. But all I can say is that, "IT'S TIME FOR ME TO LET GO".

Darling, this journey with you will always be "A walk to remember".

I love you so much, but I love myself even more. :)

Being human...

It's been sometime since I took time to stop and stare on how far things has gone. Been sometime since I looked back to see how far I've came. Well, now I've decided to just sit for awhile and look at what has happened. Life's has it's ups and down and I've crossed not even half of it. I met so many different people, some leave, some stay, some leave and tend to come back and some.. They're gone for ever. But through out this whole journey of life, I appreciate the fact that I've met all of them as they were the reason and some still are the reason to making me into a woman. Bad or good, experiences will always teach us something. The best part of knowing all this amazing people and sometimes not so amazing also is that we end up discovering ourselves. I mean how awesome can that be right? :)

Well, in the end. What's important is that life's makes us into a human and nothing less or more than that. JUST HUMAN. :)

Hall of Fame.

Yeah, You could be the greatest

You can be the best

You can be the king kong banging on your chest

You could beat the world

You could beat the war

You could talk to God, go banging on his door

You can throw your hands up

You can be the clock

You can move a mountain

You can break rocks

You can be a master

Don't wait for luck

Dedicate yourself and you can find yourself

Standing in the hall of fame

And the world's gonna know your name

Cause you burn with the brightest flame

And the world's gonna know your name

And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame

You could go the distance

You could run the mile

You could walk straight through hell with a smile

You could be the hero

You could get the gold

Breaking all the records that thought never could be broke

Do it for your people

Do it for your pride

Never gonna know if you never even try

Do it for your counrty

Do it for you name

Cause there's gonna be a day

When your, standing in the hall of fame

And the world's gonna know your name

Cause you burn with the brightest flame

And the world's gonna know your name

And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame

Be a champion, Be a champion, Be a champion, Be a champion

On the walls of the hall of fame

Be students

Be teachers

Be politicians

Be preachers

Be believers

Be leaders

Be astronauts

Be champions

Be true seekers

Be students

Be teachers

Be politicians

Be preachers

Be believers

Be leaders

Be astronauts

Be champions

Standing in the hall of fame

And the world's gonna know your name

Cause you burn with the brightest flame

And the world's gonna know your name

And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame

(You can be a champion)

You could be the greatest

(You can be a champion)

You can be the best

(You can be a champion)

You can be the king kong banging on your chest

(You can be a champion)

You could beat the world

(You can be a champion)

You could beat the war

(You can be a champion)

You could talk to God, go banging on his door

(You can be a champion)

You can throw your hands up

(You can be a champion)

You can be the clock

(You can be a champion)

You can move a mountain

(You can be a champion)

You can break rocks

(You can be a champion)

You can be a master

(You can be a champion)

Don't wait for luck

(You can be a champion)

Dedicate yourself and you can find yourself

(You can be a champion)

Standing in the hall of fame

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mk48xRzuNvA&feature=branded

Seeing you and pretending like everything is okay. It sucks!
You bring joy and sadness.
Wanting to let you go, but not having the heart to do so simply because I LOVE YOU SAYANG.
Some say it's affection but I know what I have for you.
Maybe lady luck just haven't knocked on my door yet or maybe she never will.
I still have something called hope.
Hope towards something that will never happen.
Maybe is because I have expectation, but it's only because I LOVE YOU.
I thank you for all the nights we've spent, I thank you for all the love and memories we've created.
Never will I forget you.
I'm doing all I can to forget you, sadly I keep failing. 
They say time heals, but I'm starting to have doubt about that.
I can barely look at you in the eyes these days, knowing just by one look I will fall all over again.
I...
I just hope this pain will come to an end..

Bottled up feelings.

Faking a smile everyday, pretending everything is okay.

Every step I take, everything I see reminds me of the past.

It's not something pleasant for me to smile when I remember, it haunts me everytime I close my eyes.

Why me?

Why do I have to go through this misery?

Despite the fact it happened years back, everytime it flashes in front of me..

I can see myself suffering, crying and wishing god would just show me some mercy.

Was too young to go through that, it wasn't something I chose.

He got away with it, but I'm still finding way to let it go.

It has burn a hole in my heart..

Everytime he touch, I get this feeling.

All I need is someone who will help me get through this.

:(

Stupid in LOVE! :)

Am I stupid to still be here? I need an answer to whatever questions I have in my mind. What am I suppose to do? My heart says I should stay, my brain says I should leave. But I am not the kind of girl who gives up easily. I fight for what I want. And I want YOU! Isn't it clear that I love you and only you? I'm just going to suck it up and face the fact. You're not my boyfriend and there a chances that you will never be mine. But till then I will stand by you, in good, bad and worse. I promise this to you sayang. I will always be right here for you! When you, yourself decide to let me go, that is when I will leave. I WILL BE HERE FOR YOU TILL YOU NEED ME NO MORE. :')

Love fades? No, I don't think so :)

Quiet sometime since I blogged about anything! :/
 So a year has passed by, and we haven't got things official yet. I don't know if it will ever be or not too!
Sometimes this matter gets me sick worried and it always makes me unhappy.
But surprisingly, despite all the problem we face, he always manages to make me smile and gives me butterfly in my stomach.
Though, future is something that is unpredictable, I know for the fact that my present, I would like to spend it with him.
I want to start off my day with him and end it with him too.
If that's too much to ask, then I shall just keep my wishes to myself. I've read an article about, if a person wants to be in a relationship with you, it will surely take time. But if this time is gonna exceed more than 6months then I guess it's no  longer love that is between that two person. I don't know if it's true or not but seems very convincing.
Does this mean he doesn't love me? Is he here just to fool around and deceive my heart which truly loves him?
What does it mean?
It might be true, but at the same it might just might be false too.
There is also a saying, " To be in a relationship, it doesn't only involves physical touch. Two must take ample amount of time, patience, love and trust if they really want to be together."
I guess I'm at situation number 2.
Some of my friends told me I should let him go, even he told me that. Letting go is not why I grew my feelings for him, no one seems to understand that. Sometimes I feel not even him :(
If I were to walk away, I could have done it long time, but I decided to stay simple because I still have hope and I love him.
But if walking away is going to make everything else easier then I will just to see my baby smile. :')
This doesn't mean love has faded between us. Love can never fade, feelings can never in a million years fade.
They will always be there, but..How shall I put it...
But it's just that it's hidden and never found after that. Because they person who hid that love is the one who can find that love once again. :)
I love you boo. Till time comes for us to go on our own way, I will stay by your side and love you.
<3

Racism is stupidity!

We live in a country where we're consist of Malay, Chinese and Indian! Not to forget how about the Sikh and Christians? So much of talking about One Malaysia! I don't see any changes.
That awkward moment when you enter your classroom and guess what happens! The Malays sits with their kind, Chinese speaks their language, Indian does both, sitting with their clan and talking in their language like they're the only with that Tamil language. 
Hey, it a fucking classroom for heaven sake. What has happened to being a team and helping each other out? Being a family and guiding each other? Is it in your heart still? Is it still stored in your fucking brains or did you just flush it down the toilet? 
So I heard you're only giving scholarships for bumiputra? Dafuq!!! What happens to the rest of us then?
Sit at the road side and start begging eh? Ini macam tak boleh lar bro, do you know what "sama rata" means? Fucking treat us like one of you, not a fucking alien for god forbidden sake.
I use to be a kid who was so proud to be a Malaysian, but looking at the situation now, i fucking hate living in this country already.
Despite all the bad stuff that I've been observing for the past few years, there is one thing that I am proud off thou..
When I was still in high school, I had the best moment with my friends. Yeah, their identification cards stated that they were different races, but we treated each other more than a friend. We were a family. That was what our class teacher Mr.***** thought us. He thought us that we should not differentiate people with the skin tone, eye color, language they speak, food the eat or things they believe in. Because in the end when we die, our ashes all just the same.
So lately, I've been going out a lot. :) Well, hello!! I am after all a wild, free, crazy teenager.
When I actually walk in the malls or wherever you can think off, why do you people stare like you've never seen a human before?
Weyh, i aint gonna eat you up, i just came to shop. =="
Even our late MJ sang a song about it. IT DON'T MATTER IF YOU'RE BLACK OR WHITE.

We live in a country, oopps no.. We actually live in a world where we're labelled! And being labelled isn't good for any of us or the future generations.Remember, we're the generators of the world after all. The root which is our parents, teachers and all those politicians. You guys should set a good example on how we should be, do not do DRAMA because we're smart enough to differentiate politics, dramas and reality.

We were not born yesterday okay. =="

DON'T BE RACIST, BE LIKE A PANDA. THEY'RE BLACK, WHITE AND ASIAN. :)

p/s  This blog is not created by me to offend anything, i only write what comes in my mind. So don't fucking read this and plan on fucking sue-ing me. :) In anyways, i did not and will not hate our country or state out the person, places or whatever you can think of name. Muahhhhhzzz, SAY NO TO RACISM, COS IT'S JUST STUPID.

Indian Parents.

No, I am not being Russell Peters now! This is serious.


It is seriously not easy to live in an Indian family especially when you're a girl. Going out is wrong, staying over is wrong, talking on the phone is wrong, coming home late is wrong, having many guy friends is wrong! But my favorite is "If you have a bf and you guys break up, then any other guy you eventually fall for is not acceptable especially when your parents are close to your ex".

So yeah, this how the story of my life goes. It's been more than 6 months since I broke up! My mom has known my ex ever since I was still his friend. And when we coupled, initially she didn't know but as soon as she found out, surprisingly she did not go against it but was actually fine with the fact that I had a boyfriend at the age 16! We were together for 2years and 5months but eventually things got out of hand and it was time to time decision on what is the best for us. Decision taken, to be apart is the best decision we've ever taken.

Whether I had a hard time on getting over my ex or not, I don't know but my mom is still having a hard time.

Just like everyone else who needed someone when they broke I too found someone who is today very special to me. He isn't my boyfriend nor is my friend. He is simply someone really special to me and will always remain special.

We like each other very much but there is still something which is holding us back from being together for real. I am not sure about him, but there is few reasons why I am still not being in a relationship. First of all would my mom who isn't agreeing on giving him a chance and getting to know him! Secondly, to me would be the fact that he is looking for someone he wants to get married too but how sure am I suppose to be that it is me he is going to get married to? Furthermore, future is not for us to say. I love him so much and I don't want to lose him for any reason. If staying as his friend is the only way for me to be close than I would even sacrifice that for me.

Ok, forget about me and my whole story!!

Talking about Indian Parents! In my case, my MOM!

So i confessed to her that I am getting to know this guy! BOOM!!! My momma got so offended and without even knowing she freaking hate him?

Wait, did I go wrong for telling her the truth about what is going on in my life? Tell me if I was wrong because I feel I did what no daughter would do which is CONFESSING! She doesn't want to talk about him, she doesn't want to know. She just doesn't want anything that has to do with him. This thing is very hurting for me and also for him. :(

I want to be with him so bad but she likes my ex so much and she wants me to be with him which is unacceptable because I will never in a million years jump into that hole.

Ma, I ain't saying you're bad! I love you with all my heart, but you just don't understand sometimes.

I've learned one thing, living with Indian Parents is like living in a battlefield. They've got all the weapon but you stand alone there either waiting to die or to just surrender and be on their side. I've decided to stand for myself at the same be on their side. It's time to use some brain and get things worked out. Even if things don't work out between me and him, I will want my mom to know that I love him and whoever I am going to marry she will have to treat him right too. 

Darling.

I LOVE YOU.

I hope, pray and wish to see a future with you.

:'(

Bad day.

I am very sorry for whatever i've done and said. I didn't do it in purpose. :(
I should have just stayed away and avoided, but i didn't see this coming..
How should I know that this is where we will end up? We were so good together, how come this storm can break us?
You and I, if we say goodbye. Even the angels will cry..


Baby, i miss you.
What can i do to make it up to you?
I promised that I would behave today and i did all i can. Emotions is over taking us.
:(
I will never forget today or your words. 
Yes you're just my friend. But seriously, you're so special to me and the last thing i want to do to u is to upset or hurt you.
I'm sorry.


Do you think our story is coming to an end?
Because, i believe this isn't the end but just the beginning.
Darling, remember no matter how hard things can be or how bad we're going to get hurt. I promise i will stand by you till you need me no more.
I love you that much sayang, not only for who you are but also for what you are.
I love you in and out darling. :(


I wish i could make you believe that, but again. It is up to you.
Lately, things is getting out of our hands. It's time for us to control the situation and move forward.
Mwahx, i love you bubu.
More than anything. :(

A bad day which turned out to be good in the end.

It was the eve of Valentine's but he screwed my mood. :( I was suppose to finish up doing his gift but I lost my mood so i left it unattended. :( Like every other girls i was hoping that at least he would actually call me and be the first person to wish me but instead I slept feeling fucking miserable and I woke up hoping to feel okay. I told myself to just not think about it and go to college but I couldn't help myself. T.T
Having my period and also losing my mood was the major turn off. Seeing everybody celebrating Valentine's made me even more sadder. I mean, i did not expect any gift or what so ever but at least a wish?? He is such a pig right?
So there i was being all moody in college and having terrible pain so i thought to myself lets message him. I was in pain and he buat "DURH'!!!! :O 
I was very very very piss so i came home and i didn't want to acknowledge him so i slept off.
At about 4pm he called me saying that he was on his way back and at that moment I did not give a fuck cos I was freaking pissed at him. Then, he message to ask if I've eaten or not and i replied "NO".
After a couple of minutes, he called me up and told me to come downstairs and when I when down, I saw him out of my house gate standing with a packet of rojak. :) So as i when in my house after taking the rojak packet to put it in a bowl and when I came out of my house. He was there, sitting on my swing with a card and 3stalk of roses.
SPEECHLESS!!!!
So me with a bowl in my hand and him in front of me.. I didn't know what to do. :O
But i have to say, that monkey melted my heart like fuck. :)
Then, got a hug and kiss from him and we ate the rojak together. I wish he didn't had to go back thou.
Gahhh, bubu you da best. I loveeeeee you so freaggin much! <3<3<3
At the same time, i had you too. :@


Muahhhxxxxxxxxxx!! My Valentine's day did not turn out to be "just" Tuesday after all. 
Thank you sayang, i love you.

The flower in my garden.

Today, she has turned 14. Wahh, my piggy cousin is a big girl now. Jk jk!! But yeah, sorry deyh I couldn't get you any gift. Maafkan okay? Been busy and pokai. But hey, I hope this message is a way to make it up to you.


Dear, 
Divythra


We've had random conversation, unsettled fights, gossips and we've spend almost all our life's together. You've made my life beautiful and without you, life wouldn't be the same. <3
You're the flower in my garden.(theweirdone)
Happy 14th Birthday babygirl. May god bless you and I hope and wish the best for you.


Never in a million years change or let anyone change you. I know you're studying in assunta but please don't change to become bisexual or lesbian kays. :P
Also, darling girl. Having a boyfriend at this age isn't wrong but just remember to ALWAYS tell me what's going on kay.
Anything and everything I'm here to teach and correct you.
I hope to see you soon and have some AWESOME time. :)


Not to forget, smart girl. Please concentrate on your studies too. Don't let anything bring you or your studies down.
Love yah.

Mmmm, random shiat.

The cupid has been a bad boy lately. :)

Love is not expressed by our lips but through our eyes,

Eyes does not speak normal words but it let's us turn our words into poetry,

Poetry is not taken from any sort of books but each and every line is from our heart.

When you're in front of me, my heart skips a beat.

The only way to punish me when I do any sort of mistake is to kiss me. 

The pathway you walk is where my heart follows,

You've made my entire life beautiful!

The first time I got to know the real meaning of love,

The first time I laid my eyes on you,

I hope this dream doesn't end,

Because if this dream end, then there is no point of me living a life.

Everything about you makes me happy!

I miss those days when you kiss me at night..
I miss the way we sleep..Like there is no sunrise!
Like the taste of your lips..
I miss the way we breath.
Now I miss everything about you!
I see your eyes every time I close mine..
Where I belong to when I'm not around you,
It's like I'm not with you. :(
Half of my heart got a grip on this situation,
other half takes times..
You make me rise up like the tide the moment your lips meet mine.
I'm so glad I found you,

I love being around you.

40 Reasons why I Love You..

This is just some of the reasons why 'I Love You' pa.. :)
And this is for you.. 

1. For being patient with me.
2. For being the most honest person I've ever known.
3. For you unconditional love.
4. For making me feel comfortable around you.
5. For being true to yourself.
6. For being my most adorable puli dog. ^_^
7. Also for being my best buddy. 
8. For holding my hand.
9. For you comforting hugs.
10. For the random/unexpected kisses.
11. For making me laugh.
12. For your crazy voices, sound and imitations.
13. For calling me at 3 in the morning and saying you miss me.
14. For accepting me and everything that i am.
15. For sharing your dreams with me.
16. For putting effort in making me smile when I'm sad.
17. For being my greatest blessing.
18. For letting me pour everything out to you.
19. For listening to me when i rant.
20. For everything that you're.
21. For teaching me how to be myself.
22. For rubbing my belly when my monthly visit. :)
23. For cheering me up when I'm all bummed out.
24. For the littlest things you do like picking a flower for me.
25. For treating me well.
26. For keeping me warm when i'm cold.
27. For being great in turning your feelings into poetry.
28. Because you make me happy.
29. Because i can tell you everything.
30. Because you make me feel special.
31. Because you sing for me. ^_^
32. Because you have unnecessary fight with me.
33. Because you just enjoy seeing me going crazy.
34. Because you drive me insane.
35. Because you snore right at my ear. >.< 
36. Because you make me feel complete with you.
37. Because you never fail to brighten my day.
38. Because you teach me so many things about life.
39. Because you're DEFINITELY worth the wait. 
40. Because..........'I JUST DO'

* mwaaahxxxxxx*

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH :)

<3<3<3

--your babygal,apple pie, bulldog--

<3<3<3

Someday i will marry you..

Have you ever thought what the future holds for us? I have and will always think about it. Sometime I wish I could just have a glimpse of my future in that way I would save the heartbreaks and not get myself tangled with the wrong man.
I got my heart broken once and I know exactly how it feels like, I've been in the same place but somehow I find myself doing the same mistake I did once with this man! How is that possible? My mind keeps telling me to stay away from him but no matter what I do all I want is to be wrapped around his arms.
The way he makes me feel, the way he makes me laugh.. Most of all the way he makes me feel like I'm worth his time.
Thinking about tomorrow has made me have some fear ever since I got to know this guy. I want him so badly that sometime I wish I could just stop time and cherish every moment.
He came in to my life like he was just meant for only me! Took away all my pain and filled the emptiness.
I want to marry him someday..:)

I'm the BEST thing you'll ever have!: A walk to remember..

I'm the BEST thing you'll ever have!: A walk to remember..: I will always remember this walk . Being able to say 'I Love You' is the best gift god as ever given to me but to hold hand in hand with ...

Sorry..

Never make promises when you're happy and never in a million years say anything when you're mad.
I did mistakes number two and now this has made him sad. :( 
I said i'm sorry! It breaks me into pieces to know that I've became the reason to your sadness. How could I be so selfish and cold towards you when you usually put so much of effort in making me happy?
Now i feel really really bad.
I'm really sorry darling, i didn't mean to say such things. It wasn't from the heart but it was just words that came out from my mouth. I know the previous blogged has hurt you a lot and i really feel bad and i take responsible for what I've said.
But darling, you know i say things i don't mean. :( You know i love you like more than anything in this world right.
Please don't say you've got no mood and you'll talk to me tomorrow or whatever.
:(
How can i sleep without talking to you? This is a lesson to be learned for me. Well, i did tell you not to read my blog. You wanted to read it so badly now look where this has brought things too.
I don't have the right words to make you feel better and i deserve to be punished for what I've actually said.
I will never repeat this stupid mistake ever again.
I'm really sorry sayang.
I hope you know that you're the best thing that has ever happened to me..